I suppose pessimism is not something a person would typically enlist as a skill. It certainly would not look good on a job application, or any thing describing yourself by any means. Perhaps then I impose it as one, in order to deter the bleak possibility that I would be dishonest. Not to say that optimism is dishonest, no not at all. I recognize that they are no more than different perspectives, observations, and evaluations of each and every thing. Yet what pessimism does not permit is the gradual or possible build up of hope, or the falsely heightened probability that a particular event may happen. Though I have neglected to say that with this pessimism I often do not share it with the people I care about--yes when it involves sarcasm or the dark irony that so many things need suggesting I do share it. Yet when a person is in a time of need I do not share my actual thoughts or allow my mind to set them to purpose. Unless of course I know that the person does indeed want to hear my opinion, I feint reality with hope and cheeriness because I know that little structure of lies will support them and hold them aloft; whereas my darkness would cause them to crumble. Yet I find distaste when someone offers the same kindness to me. I then wonder if the structure I built for the people I stood by feels as unstable as that of the one built for me.
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