Guardian

This is Guardian. Surprisingly enough I have never posted about him before. As many people refer to him: Nathaniel's creepy bear rug. I must assert that he is so much more than just a rug, in fact he is no rug at all. Guardian is the last memento from my Grandpa Doug a year or so before he died, but he stayed stuffed up in my closet for several years before I realized this was the last token I had from my Grandpa since he had passed.

As is my nature, I have created a child like fantasy behind Guardian and his existence. I was 18 I guess, and I had just put him down on my carpet in my room. I had a friend in my room, I think it was a girl, and she saw him and was immediately given the creeps--which seems to be a trend--from this bear rug. I insisted that it was fine, "He's cool, I promise." Before I could react she asked me what his name was, and at the time I had not given him one. That would not stop me, I had to name him like he was an old time friend, a cherished part of my past and childhood. "His name? His name is Guardian."
"What kind of a name is Guardian for a bear rug?" Which obviously meant that his name needed to have purpose, and it did. From the moment I named him I instantly knew what he was. "Guardian is a perfectly good name for him, that's what he is. Guardian."
"What do you mean? He's a bear rug."
"Well you see that's the thing, he's not a bear rug. There is a very old spirit lying within the fur and skin of this bear. Every night when I go to sleep he awakens. He comes alive and guards my body and mind while I sleep. He nestles up at the foot of my bed and protects me from any threats that may come to me."
As I made up this story, I believed every word. Guardian did all of these things, he brought back moments of shared wisdom from my Grandpa, and lecturing, and scolding, and life lessons that have stuck with me to this very day.

I have no problem diving into my imagination and believing in silly fantasies such as this. I knew Toy Story was not real, but that still didn't keep me from talking to my toys, and hoping that there was some truth to it all. I have never stopped playing and pretending as the little boy in the backyard wielding a wooden stick that turned into a blazing sword of light; the boy that could fight off an entire army by himself, and sometimes with his little brother at his side. I see things that everyone else cannot see. There is a dangerous and beautiful world of beasts, bad guys, buildings and dark forests, and for the most part I have faced them all. This world is my safe haven; I am not scared of them, I am not scared of the dark. I am scared of reality, I am scared by the smile of a pretty girl, and getting caught staring at her. I am scared of hurting my friends; I am scared of failing them. I am scared I have led them to believe too many negative things, about myself and the world. I am scared everyone has forgotten who I am; I am scared they have never known. I am just a boy, a boy who despite all his trying, cares for everyone in his life; a boy that wants to make them laugh, smile and enjoy every moment they are alive. I am just a 21 year old boy, daydreaming, imagining, fighting and still crushing on a multitude of girls. The next time you see me, ask me what I see, maybe, just maybe, if you open your eyes you can see this world too, and all the beauty and wonders it has to offer.

Why another Jack post? Or even another song post? Because Jack Johnson is one of the few and largest inspirations in my life.